Uncle Sal and the Leering Lawyer (Episode 54)

Giacomo sat on the sofa waiting for Uncle Sal to finish getting dressed so they could go to the demolition derby. He picked up a little notebook next to Uncle Sal's ocher porkpie hat on the table. He leafed through a couple pages and called out, "What's this?"

Uncle Sal came into the living room and said, "Oh that. That's my notebook from when I was a detective."

"Looks like you were working on a case involving someone named Potter."

"Oh yeah. The Potter case. Seems there was this guy peeping into the women's dorms at ol' Cotton U. So, my partner and I brought in some people that kind of fit the description of the Peepin' Tom. One of the guys we brought in was Sylvester Potter. Real shifty sort of fella, beady eyes too close together and would never look ya inna eyes when he talked. If you were gonna sketch a peepin' Tom, he'd be a pretty good model."

Uncle Sal disappeared briefly and returned to the living room, putting his suspenders on. "Real problem came about when his mother came tot he station. A real virago, that one. She comes in, barking at me about bringing her son in as a suspect. Tole me he couldn't be no peepin' Tom because he's smart and a lawyer, and that this accusation would hurt his career. Like that's any of my concern. Ya meet some real crackpots when you work for the police, I'll tell ya."

"So, whatever happened with Sylvester Potter?"

"Well, he beat that rap, but a few years later, they hauled the guy in again for peepin'. Seems my diagnosis of him was right."

Giacomo flipped a few pages in the notebook and saw what Uncle Sal had written: Shrill Potter's son - CREEP.

This episode featured:
Bruno Babb as Uncle Sal
Blaine Bong as Giacomo
and
Jellybean Merengue as the suspenders.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "I wore a mustache and parted my hair, and gave the impression that I didn't care."

Uncle Sal and the Old Alma Mater (Episode 15)

Uncle Sal watched his pinochle partner Joe lead with the nine of hearts. "Hey Sal, 'member when we was at Cotton University?"

Uncle Sal stared at his cards. "Course I do. You don't forget about the old alma mater."

"I wonder if Fuller's teaching still there. I..."

"Oh, Jane Fuller! Boy, I'll tell ya, she was a great teacher. I had her for a class called sexual behaviors. It was pretty progressive for a university to have a class like that when we was students there."

"I"

"My parents nearly went through the roof when I told 'em I was gonna take a class about sexual behavior. They told me they wasn't sendin' me to no university so I could learn naughty things like that. And boy, I'll tell ya, it did feel a little naughty at times, especially for an eighteen-year-old kid."

"But"

"And if there was ever any person that should have taught a sexual behavior class, it was Jane Fuller. Course, back then, the best you could do was to see some leg, but with her that was enough. Her legs went on for days, and she always wore a skirt. Even when it was cold outside, she wouldn't cover up them legs. God bless her for that."

"Sal"

"That was by far the best class I ever took at any school. Some of the best stuff I ever learned in my life came in the classroom with Jane Fuller. I reckon she mighta been able to teach me a few things outside of class, too, if ya catch my meanin'."

"SAL!"

"What? What's the matter with you? A bug fly up your nose?"

"No. I wasn't talking about Jane Fuller, or your sex class. I'm talking about Edward Fuller. He taught me the principles of accounting."

"Accounting? Well, that's a course of a different Fuller."

This episode featured
Eustace Perkins as Joe
Norberto Allred as Uncle Sal
and
Jellybean Merengue as the 9 of diamonds

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "Is that a real poncho?"

[13 November 2007]