Sunday, January 4, 2009

Uncle Sal and the Conniving Collector (Episode 74)

Giacomo climbed into Uncle Sal's Dodge Dart and said, "Is that a Hartford Whalers jersey?"

"You bet it is. Number eleven, Kevin Dineen, the last captain of the Whalers."

"Sweet. I'm telling you, I'm looking forward to this flea market. I hear there's one booth where you can get old dartboards and foosball tables."

As Uncle Sal moved the 8-ball gearshift and pulled away from the curb, Giacomo said, "This magazine has some quizzes in it. They ought to keep us entertained on our way."

Giacomo leafed through a couple pages and cursed the subscription card that fell out of the magazine. As he turned toward one of the quizzes, he said, "Would you look at that?"

"I can't. I'm driving."

"There's picture of a Wilfredo Young baseball card in here. You know who that is, right?"

"Course I do. He's the guy spent twenny years in the minor leagues, then finally made it to the majors and pitched a perfect game. Then he hurt his arm celebrating after the game and never played again."

"But that's not all. Rumor has it, he was out of his mind on opium when he pitched that game. So, now there is kind of this novelty collector's market for Young's cards. I used to have one, actually. But I had this friend Matt Spatulasky, he was a couple years older than me. He saw that I had this Wilfredo Young card and he seemed really interested in it, even though he told me it would never be worth anything because the guy would never play again."

"And you believed him?"

"I didn't know what a perfect game was. I sure didn't know what opium was. So Matt convinced me to sell it to him for the card of some utility infielder and a dollar twenty-five in quarters. Me, I was happy to have the quarters because then I could buy five more packs of cards. Now these Wilfredo Young cards
'll go for five hundred bucks or more."

"And now you're out at least five hunnerd bucks cuz Matt bought your Young."

This episode featured:
Charlie Ferngravel as Giacomo
Albert "Switch" Blades as Uncle Sal
Jellybean Merengue as the subscription card.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "Not that motherscratcher!"


Sharlene Hardin said...

Very cool stuff :)

Gone with the Schwind said...

Thank you Sharlene. This one is actually based in part on a true story.