Sunday, April 12, 2009

Uncle Sal and the Forgotten Films (Episode 88)

Giacomo drove his Plymouth Valiant down Maple and when he came to the intersection at Vanden Heuven, he said to Uncle Sal, "Look at that. The Hale Theater is almost finished."

Uncle Sal picked a hair off of his powder blue Texas Rangers Kurt Bevacqua jersey and said, "The Hale Theater? What's that?"

Giacomo looked at his uncle and said, "Haven't you been reading about it in the paper? They've done several stories about it."

Uncle Sal poked the dashboard hula girl to get her dancing a little bit. "No, I ain't read it in the paper. That's why I'm askin' ya what it is."

"I'm sure you'll love it. The owner..."

"Let me guess. His name is Hale."

"Actually, no. He named it after Alan Hale, the skipper from Gilligan's Island. Anyway, the owner of the place is a big fan of bad movies. Monster movies, alien movies, horror movies where the corpses move. He loves all of that stuff. So, he figured the best thing to do was to make a theater specifically for people like him."

"I love all them monster movies. Hollywood can keep their car chases and explosions. Give me flying sharks from outer space anytime. 

"Exactly. Plus, he's going to have double features. And he's going to charge less than all the other theaters in town. You'll be able to get two movies for less than you'd pay for a single current Hollywood movie."

"Prolly be more entertained than if ya went to watch one of them mainstream films."

"And get this." Giacomo continued. "I've heard the first double feature there is going to be Plan 9 from Outer Space and Gamera versus Zigra."

Uncle Sal whistled. "Boy, that's a heckuvan idea. You can go anywhere in town for a slick mainstream picture, but the dreck's in the Hale."

This episode featured:
Zeno "King" Khan as Giacomo
Merle Oh as Uncle Sal
Jellybean Merengue as the dashboard hula girl.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it." 

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