Sunday, April 26, 2009

Uncle Sal and the Crass Comment (Episode 90)

Uncle Sal was reading a newspaper and sipping a Spud's when Hubie entered the Crow Bar and occupied his usual stool at the end of the bar. Uncle Sal brushed a pumpernickel mini-toast from his Detlef Schrempf jersey onto the floor and chuckled behind his newspaper.

Hubie asked, "Whatcha readin'?"

"The Glass Jaw."

"Someone writes a newspaper about second-rate boxers?"

"Yeah, it's pretty funny too."

Hubie took a handful of bar mix from the bowl and shoved it into his mouth. "Yeah? Gimme an example."

"Well, this guy Mitch Mitchum wrote a piece about this guy The Topeka Kid Jocko Nimphius. He says here 'Nimphius doesn't so much throw punches as he casts them, like an old man with crusts of bread at a pond.' He goes on to say that 'Nimphius has the footwork of a drunken newborn giraffe.'"

Uncle Sal chuckled and washed some more bar mix down with a gulp of Spud's. "But that ain't the best part." He leaned toward Hubie. "Look at this illustration Mitchum did of Nimphius. He's put Nimphius in a sundress and pillbox hat, and he's got a purse over the guy's forearm."

"Yeah, that's pretty good, but it ain't as good as what Rodney Rippington said about that boxing promoter Lucius Mephisto."

Uncle Sal furrowed his brow and said, "What who said about what?"

"Rodney Rippington. He writes for this this other boxing publication Three Rings."

After a sip of Spud's Uncle Sal said, "So, what did this Rppington say?"

Hubie looked at Kelly. Not wanting her to hear it, he leaned and whispered it to Uncle Sal. Sal's eyes went wide. "He said that?" Hubie nodded. Uncle Sal said, "Well, I gotta agree with ya. That is bolder than a Mitch's wit in The Glass Jaw."

This episode featured:
Cal Q. Layder as Uncle Sal
Matt Wress as Hubie
Eleanor Higbee as Kelly
Jellybean Merengue as the pumpernickel mini-toast.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "Hot diggity daffodil!"

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