Sunday, July 19, 2009

Uncle Sal and the Perturbed Pitchman (Episode 102)

Uncle Sal sat next to Joe at the Crow Bar. He took a sip of the Spud's Kelly had placed in front of him and looked toward the door. "Oh no!"

Joe looked at the television. The Wombats hadn't done anything bad. They hadn't even made a call to the bullpen to bring in Uncle Sal's least favorite pitcher. "What do you mean?"

Uncle Sal took the bottle cap and slid it into the pocket of his Federation of Lanky Icelandic Plumbers bowling shirt. "Guy that just walked in. Name's Chad, or Tad. Sump'n like that. He comes in here a lot and he always wants to tell people about his day at work. He actually thinks they're interested. Maybe he'll sit down the other end of the bar."

The man sat on the stool to Uncle Sal's left. Kelly said, "Hey Tad." But she also made the mistake of asking him how he was doing.

"What a day!" Tad replied as he loosened the knot of his tie. "I was giving a presentation in a marketing meeting today. It was really a good presentation too. You should have seen some of the slides I made in PowerPoint. They were really eye-catching and cool, if I do say so myself." He took a sip of his Blue Hawai'i and said, "Yeah, so there I am giving a presentation about what we can do to make our brand more noticeable. More of a household name, you know. I mean, that's the name of the game, right? You have to find ways to get people to buy what you're selling. That's what puts steaks in the fridge. Anyway...I was about forty-five minutes into my presentation and this one guy gets up and goes to the bathroom. No big deal, right? I mean everyone's gotta go. Well, this guy comes back and he's got this big rock in his hand. I looked at the guy and I was a little nervous. What was he going to do with the rock?"

Kelly looked at her fingernails and wondered when this story was going to come to a close.

"Well, the guy walked right toward me. And I'm thinking maybe he's going to hit me in the head with it. He didn't, obviously. He just took this giant rock and threw it right on top of the projector. So much for the presentation, right?"

Uncle Sal chuckled.

Tad looked at him and said, "You think that's funny?"

Uncle Sal said, "Yeah, I think it's pretty amusing. After forty-five minutes of that, I can see why someone would put his boulder to the spiel."

This episode featured:
"Welcome" Matt Squier as Uncle Sal
Dick Pocoroba as Joe
Pam Flett as Kelly
Page Turner as Tad
Jellybean Merengue as the bottle cap.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "No more sittin' in the dirt at the drive-in!"

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