Sunday, July 12, 2009

Uncle Sal and the Timid Tweeter (Episode 101)

The first pitch of the Wombats game had just been made when Giacomo removed his phone from his pocket and looked at the display. He grimaced, pushed a few keys and slid the phone back into his pocket.

"Whatta ya doin, Giacomo? Yer makin' phone calls during the game?"

"Someone just sent me a message on Twitter."

"Twitter? The heck is that?"

"It's this social networking site. You get 140 characters to tell all of your followers what you're doing right now." He removed his phone again and showed his Twitter home page to Uncle Sal. On the display were messages like "Getting a latte at the coffee shop" and "Just lost a hand with a full house."

Uncle Sal scrunched up his face like he had smelled something foul and said, "What's the point? Seems like a giant waste of time."

"I'm beginning to think the same thing. I just heard so many people talk about it that I wanted to try it myself. This guy Paul Porrola that just messaged me is making me nuts. I think I might have to end my Twitter experiment just because of him."

Uncle Sal sipped overpriced beer from his 32-ounce Wombats cup ("It's like two beers in one cup!") and said, "What's his deal?"

"We went to high school together. I see him from time to time. But almost as soon as I created an account on Twitter, he found me. Probably because he wastes all of every day at this blasted thing. He only adds friends and models. And he's always sending me messages asking me to guess who he was just Twittering with. Inevitably, he tells me the name of some model I never heard of. But he thinks it's the greatest thing in the world that these beautiful women somehow recognize his existence. The only thing is, he would never have the guts to talk to these women if he saw them in person. The last time I hung out with him, he just kept saying, 'Look at that chick! She is so hot!' And I would tell him to go talk to any or all of the women he pointed out. He never did though. But now he thinks he's a big deal because some model thanks him for telling her how beautiful she is."

"Well, it does take a lot less courage to send a brief message than to actually speak to someone. Just goes to show you: Paul, that Twitters, is not bold."

This episode featured:
Lon Dartz as Giacomo
Homer Unberg as Uncle Sal
Jellybean Merengue as the 32-ounce Wombats cup.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "That's a lovely accent you have. New Jersey?"

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