Friday, September 3, 2010

Uncle Sal and the Hapless Highroller (Episode 159)

Giacomo set a plate of pancakes in the center of the table. As Uncle Sal reached for one with his fork, he said, "Whooooooa!"

"What is it?"

"Have a look at this pancake, Giacomo. Doesn't the surface of it look just like Marc Bolan?"

Giacomo agreed that the resemblance was uncanny.

Uncle Sal opened the syrup bottle and wiped a drop that fell onto his Trainwreck t-shirt. After licking the syrup off of his finger, he said, "So, is your car in the shop? Why'd you need me to come pick you up this morning?"

Giacomo cracked some eggs into his cast-iron skillet, threw the shells into the compost box and said, "No, it's because I'm buying a car from Bobby Jake Brubaker."

"Bru? Isn't he the one with the souped-up seventy-one Barracuda with the portrait of the Were-Elvis on the hood?"


"Is that the car you're buying?" Giacomo nodded. "Get out! Why is he selling it? I had a car like that, I'd never sell it."

"Well, Bobby Jake didn't really want to sell it. He has a bit of a gambling problem. For a long time, he was winning every bet. It got to the point where his bookie wouldn't take his bets anymore. He found another bookie and won his first couple bets with the new guy. Then he lost a football game, in overtime. So he tried to win his money back, but lost again. All of a sudden he couldn't win. He'd bet on beach volleyball, curling, even Scrabble tournaments, just trying to get back to even. He got himself into a spot where he couldn't pay what he owed without selling his stuff. He called me to see if I wanted the Barracuda. Who wouldn't want it? Thing is, I had to talk him down to about half of what he was asking. He didn't really want to, but then, he didn't have a lot of choice."

"So you come away with a Barracuda at half the asking price thanks to the gaming of the Bru."

This episode featured:
Rusty Carr as Giacomo
Ray Wayne "Engine" Bloch as Uncle Sal
Jellybean Merengue as the cast-iron skillet.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "Wow, he just made the international sign of the doughnut."

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