Uncle Sal and the Glorious Guitar (Episode 80)

Uncle Sal removed the little sword with olives from his dirty martini and slid one of the olives off. He put it in his mouth and asked Giacomo, "So are you going to be able to make that luchadora thing in two weeks?" As Giacomo opened his mouth to answer, Uncle Sal wiped a drop of the martini that had fallen onto his Edmonton Oilers Charlie Huddy jersey.

"Man, I wish I could. But the other day, I ran into my old friend Moose Flimter. He's in a band called Belching in the Rain. Actually, I ran into him when I was at the local guitar shop. He was looking at this forty-seven LaFlamme Stegosaurus. It's a sweet guitar. I think they got the name right too. Thing feels like it weighs as much as a stegosaurus. He got it, but I'm not sure if he'll use it on stage."

Uncle Sal sipped his martini and shook his head. "Belching in the Rain? They think they're gonna get any notoriety with a name like that?"

Giacomo shrugged. "It's memorable. It's not like they decided to call the band The Ducks or something generic like that. Anyway, I was talking to Moose and he tells me his band has a show coming up at the Colosseum here in town. Gave me back stage passes for me and a guest, the whole works."

Uncle Sal responded with a shrug of his own.

"I hope you don't mind. I mean, normally, I'd love to go to the luchadora event with you. I mean, there isn't much better than masked female wrestlers. If it were any other night I'd join you..."

"Yeah, yeah. If you hadn't already made plans to see the Moose that plays the olden Steg."

This episode featured:
Frogozo as Uncle Sal
Phil Poole as Giacomo
and
Jellybean Merengue as the olive sword.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "That's beautiful! What is that, velvet?"

Uncle Sal and the Careening Compact (Episode 76)

Uncle Sal and Alice entered Giacomo's place where they would have some cocktails before going to the lucha libre matches. "Uncle Sal, Alice, good to see you." He looked at Uncle Sal's Pittsburgh Pirates jersey and said, "Number twenty-seven? Don't tell me. Kent Tekulve, right?"

"You betcha. Not too many side-armers like him anymore."

Uncle Sal looked at the table and saw a travel brochure. "You plannin' a trip to Scotland?"

"Yeah, I've been thinking about it. It's just one of those places I feel like I need to see before I die."

"It's a great place. One time, I was driving over there. Rented myself a Volkswagen Golf. They like cars a lot smaller there than we do in the States. don't use as much fuel and they're easy to park. Well, I was driving this Golf along a winding road with a moor on either side, when this red deer jumps right in front of the car. Now, I'm gonna tell ya sump'n. A deer jumps in front of your car, you just hit the gas. They ain't gonna tell ya that in any travel brochure, I can tell ya that. Do less damage to yer car that way."

Alice cringed. "Don't tell me you hit the gas and killed that poor deer."

"No, I didn't. But I shoulda. I swerved to avoid the deer, but the ground was wet and there ain't no shoulder on the road. Well, that car skidded off the road and I couldn't get no traction to get back on the road. Car went around one and a half times and mighta just kept on goin'. I fought the wheel and tried to steer the car straight. Of course, when you're skidding that ain't gonna work."

"So what did you do?" Giacomo asked as he shook some martinis.

"I pulled the emergency brake, that's what I did. Stopped just in time too. It was all I could do to keep the Golf from the moor."

This episode featured:
Curt D. Meaner as Uncle Sal
Lola Flannela as Alice
Dickie Splotkins as Giacomo
and
Jellybean Merengue as the Scotland brochure.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "Taffeta, sweetheart."