Saturday, February 19, 2011

Uncle Sal and the Winged Wombat (Episode 183)

Uncle Sal entered Joe's place for the weekly pinochle game, removed his wet two-tone wingtips and left them on the welcome mat that bore the message "Hi, I'm Mat." He slipped out of his Mackintosh, hung it on the hook by the door, and walked to the fridge. Joe shuffled the cards as Uncle Sal cracked open his first Spud's.

Settling into his seat, Uncle Sal said, "Didja see who the Wombats picked up in the draft?"

Joe shook his head.

"Dion Vine."

Joe continued to deal, giving no sign that he had ever heard of the player.

"It's Sweetpea Vine's kid. You know, the all-time stolen base leader for the Wombats. Remember how quick he was? He was able to stand up on second base before the catcher could even get the ball outta his mitt." Uncle Sal put a bleu cheese olive in his mouth and continued. "Well, they say this kid Dion is even faster than his old man. In his senior year of high school, the kid stole more than a hunnerd bases. And they don't play nearly as many games in high school. You know them guys say they can turn out the lights and be under the covers in bed before the room is dark? Well, this kid can flip the switch, read a chapter of a book and be under the covers before it's dark."

"Wait a minute. The Wombats just drafted this kid outta high school? What are you so excited about? The kid's never played against real good competition. And besides, he might blow out his knee and never do nothin' for the Wombats."

"What am I so excited about? Don'tcha see? What's the one thing the Wombats have been missin' all these years? A good leadoff hitter. They always get guys that try to hit home runs. They forget that a leadoff hitter is supposed to get on base and let the guys behind him drive him home. And now, the Wombats have a guy that can steal bases anytime he wants."

After a long pull from his bottle of Spud's, Uncle Sal said, "And they didn't just get any guy. They got the fleet child of Vine."

This episode featured:
Lou Brockman as Uncle Sal
Rick E. Hendrickson as Joe
Jellybean Merengue as the Mackintosh.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "Hey! Ain't you that girl that hit the other girl in the face with your hair?"