Saturday, February 5, 2011

Uncle Sal and the Converted Carouser (Episode 181)

Uncle Sal sat in The Crow Bar watching a college hockey game. He had just dipped a chip into his bowl of queso when Fred Crocker came and sat next to him. "Hey Sal, how ya been?"

Uncle Sal removed a bottle of ghost chili sauce from the pocket of his gold guayabera shirt and added it to the queso. "I been pretty good Fred. How 'bout you?"

Fred ordered a drink and said, "Yeah, I been pretty good too. Hey, whatever happened to that Guido Delfina? I ain't seen him in here in a while."

"He's at a monastery in Tibet."

Fred laughed for a solid minute before Uncle Sal said, "Why is that funny?"

"Why is that funny? Ya ever seen the guy in here? I never seen someone close a bar as often as he did. Always the life of the party. As long as they were still serving, he was still drinking. And the women. Boy, I never seen a guy hook up with as many women as that guy. I don't think he ever went home alone. You know, you almost had me going with that monastery gag."

"It's not a gag. He really did move to Tibet. Not surprisingly, a woman is behind the whole thing. He met this woman here one night and he was throwing all his terrible lines at her. She said the only way he could even think about getting anywhere with her was to go with her to a Buddhist retreat." Uncle Sal sipped his Spud's and watched as the new bartender tried to figure out how to turn up the television volume with the remote. "So he went. And he had some sort of epiphany. Decided to dedicate his life to Buddhism. And to show how serious he is about it, he moved to a monastery in Tibet where he gets two scoops of rice a day and spends almost every waking hour meditating."

Fred swallowed hard and looked at Uncle Sal. "You're really serious!"

"Course I am. I couldn't make this stuff up."

"It's just so unbelievable."

"It may be unbelievable, but it's true. Delfina is a monk, Crocker."

This episode featured:
Oswald Shin as Uncle Sal
Timofey Tendai as Fred Crocker
Tara Vada as the bartender
Jellybean Merengue as the remote.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "The crazies got all the luck."

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