Ask Uncle Sal: Down on the cubicle farm

Since I work at a cube farm do you think they'd fire me if i just mooed from my desk every hour or so? If the did then where would I go since they kicked me off the farm for bein a full fledged member of the cube farm? Is there a home for lost wayward cube farm animals? Corporate Cog, Burned


Good questions, Cog. First off, I would encourage you to moo or make other barnyard sounds in your cubicle as frequently as you think is prudent. Why? Because from what I've seen, working on a cubicle farm is about avoiding both people and work. I guarantee folks will leave ya alone if they hear brayin' comin' from your cubicle.
Can you get fired for makin' farmyard noises? Prolly. Employers can fire folks for just about anything these days. But gettin' fired from your lot on the cubicle farm might be the best thing that ever happened to ya.
Which brings me to yer third question. Is there a home for wayward animals from the cubicle farm? Heck yeah. It's called wherever the fun is. Either that or university. A whole lotta career students go to school their whole lives just to avoid being in a cubicle. Thing is, that ain't much more fun than staring at a computer screen and doin' work ya hate. So do whatever ya gotta do, but get offa that cubicle farm.

Dear Uncle Sal, I have to use this machine. What does this mean? Mystified by the Machine

The way I see it, Mystified, this means a couple things.

1. The writer of this warning does not speak English (and was possibly drunk as a goldfish in a bowl of vodka).
2. The company that made the label does not have an editing department.
   

Gotta question for Uncle Sal? Submit it to his gmail: askunclesal. Also, check out the blog Desk Jockey Shorts for more about the sheer misery of life on the cubicle farm.