Uncle Sal and the Night of 'Nog (Episode 172)

Uncle Sal climbed onto the van that he and some of the other Grackles had rented for the annual holiday pub crawl.

"Boy, I gotta tell ya, Giacomo. I've been looking forward to this crawl for weeks now. Prolly my favorite thing about the holidays. I figgered we could get warmed up on the way, considering we gotta driver for the night." He reached into the pocket of his The Adolescents work shirt and removed a thermos. After a healthy sip, he passed the thermos to Giacomo.

"I know what you mean. I never want to miss this crawl."

From the back seat of the van, Mick McMichael asked, "Tell me again how this whole thing goes."

Uncle Sal put the cap on the thermos and said, "All the bars downtown make egg nog just for this event. Each one has its own different version. And they protect those recipes like you wouldn't believe. Ya stop in for a glass of egg nog at each pub, and danged if you ain't schnockered like you wouldn't believe."

Uncle Sal and Giacomo shared stories of previous years, talked football and other news. After about 15 minutes, Uncle Sal leaned toward the driver and said, "Say, pal. We gonna get moving sometime soon?"

"I would, but I've been told we're waiting for another person." He consulted his clipboard. "A guy by the name of Mick Schmedley."

Uncle Sal exhaled loudly and slumped back in his seat."

Giacomo asked, "Who's Mick Schmedley?"

"He's this guy who was a good ballplayer in high school. Once hit a home run in a high school playoff game. Any chance he gets, he lets people know about it. What kinda pitch it was, what part of the field he hit the ball to. It was clearly the best thing ever happened in his life. Never stops talking about it when he's sober. I can only imagine how much more he'll talk about it once he gets a little lit up." After another sip from his thermos, he said, "That's just great. We're all ready to go and do some serious drinkin', but we gotta wait for another Mick in the crawl.

This episode featured:
Tennessee Tippler as Uncle Sal
Stu Souse as Giacomo
Javier "Huevos" Rinteros as Mick McMichael
Ainsley Borbon as the driver
and
Jellybean Merengue as the thermos cap.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "I'm bailing town. This place has gotten way too hairy."

Uncle Sal and the Aggressive Attorney (Episode 147)

Uncle Sal sat at the bar of The Lazy Lounge waiting for the rugby match to begin. He tossed some macadamia nuts into his mouth and washed them down with a sip of Spud's. When he saw Giacomo coming, Uncle Sal removed his Fraternal Order of Obese Dieticians jacket he had used to reserve the stool next to him. "You're just in time. The match is just about to start. I'm surprised you weren't here earlier so you could get a couple in ya before the match starts."

"I would have been, but I was in court."

"Aw jeez, Giacomo. Whadja do?"

Giacomo sat down and quickly stood up, sliding a Grizzly Beer coaster under one of the legs of his stool. As he settled onto the stool, he said, "I didn't do anything. I was there watching my friend Hobie Spoonmaker. I ran into him recently and he invited me to come and check him out on this case. Normally, Hobie is such a mild-mannered guy. I never would have guessed that he would become a criminal attorney." Giacomo sipped his Billy Taylor and continued. "Well, he was anything but mild-mannered in court. He was going after this guy accused of skimming money from his company. I'm telling you. Hobie was ruthless. He just kept hounding and hounding the guy. Well, finally the guy caved in and Hobie got what he was looking for. Heck, I think Hobie could have gotten the guy to admit that he likes to dress in cocktail gowns and wear stiletto heels. It was amazing. I've always seen him as this calm, almost Zen-like guy."

"And today you saw the shark side of the Spoon."

This episode featured:
Fergus Scrumm as Uncle Sal
Reggie Ruck as Giacomo
and
Jellybean Merengue as the Grizzly Beer coaster.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "It ain't armed robbery if the gun ain't loaded."