Uncle Sal and the Financial Freakout (Episode 84)

Joe dealt the cards and said, "Boy, I tell ya. This economic situation is so scary. I wonder when it's all gonna end. I think we're all gonna die broke."

Uncle Sal adjusted the DRAFT BEER NOT STUDENTS button on his Seattle Pilots Gene Brabender jersey and said, "It ain't pretty, but then it ain't really worth thinkin' about too much."

"Whatta ya mean it ain't worth thinkin' about? Why, I know a guy Frode Schweddamaker, he's so paranoid about the whole thing. He's stopped investing in stocks. He's stopped using banks. He's so worried about the whole thing, he barely sleeps anymore."

"See, that's just what I mean. This friend of yours is all worked up about the economic situation. And what's it getting him but misery?"

"You don't even know the half of it. I was with him at a church rummage sale one time and he found this thing, looks like The Maltese Falcon. Only it ain't a falcon, it's a crow. Well, at first he was just using the thing for decoration. Then all this stuff started happening. Banks going under, stock market falling like a pair of lead boots. Well, he decided he was gonna withdraw all his money from the banks and the stock market, and put it inside this statue he got at the church rummage sale. Any time he needs some money, he goes to this statue, and takes what he needs. Course, he's the only one knows where it is, and he changes the location frequently."

Uncle Sal set his Spud's Beer back on the table and said, "Well, I can see why a fella might wanna do sump'n like that. I mean, ya never know when some financial institution is gonna go under. But I ain't so sure it's smart neither to have all your bucks in a crow."

This episode featured:
Manny Schevitz as Joe
Lance Boyles as Uncle Sal
and
Jellybean Merengue as the DRAFT BEER NOT STUDENTS button.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face."