Sunday, March 8, 2009

Uncle Sal and the Hefty Host (Episode 83)

Uncle Sal and Alice walked into the library half of the Nouveau Nightclub. Uncle Sal straightened out his Cleveland Cavaliers Tree Rollins jersey and picked up the book Teach Yourself Glockenspiel in 7 Days.

"You're going to learn the glockenspiel?" Alice asked.

"I dunno. Maybe."

As he replaced the book on the shelf he looked at the nightclub, he saw a large man, shaped like a hill. The man was not only completely without a neck. He was so big, he had rolls on the top of his head.

"Holy huckleberries! Look at the size of that guy!"

"Sal, don't be so impolite."

"What's impolite? He's a big guy. That's just the truth. He reminds me of this guy Frank Ficarelli that hosts karaoke at this place Singland. Funny thing, he's a big fella, but he's got a voice like Frankie Lymon."

"You've been to Singland?"

Uncle Sal glanced at a calendar of buxom swimsuit models. "Yeah, Giacomo took me one time. It was pretty funny. There was this eastern European guy that sang I Will Survive. Giacomo tried to get me to sing sump'n by Rod Stewart. Dunno why. I didn't sing nothin'. Not enough alcohol inna bar to get me to sing in front of a buncha strangers. But it's fun to watch. I tell ya, a couple drinks and then watching these people who think they can sing. That's entertainment. Anywho...this guy Frank hosts the whole thing. He's built like three beer barrels, and I thought he was big. but this guy here, he's as round as the Frank of Singland.

This episode featured:
Eustace Flapp as Uncle Sal
Martina Mickleston as Alice
Jellybean Merengue as the glockenspiel book.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "Don't order the schnitzel. They're using Schnauzer.

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