Sunday, March 1, 2009

Uncle Sal and the Wily Wager (Episode 82)

A dried cranberry fell from Uncle Sal's New York Jets Emerson Boozer jersey as he stood up to answer the phone.

"Uncle Sal, what are you doing two weeks from Saturday?"

Uncle Sal rubbed his chin and said, "I ain't got nothin' planned. What's goin' on?"

"There's a beerfest in Bellefontaine. Says here in the magazine that there will be brewers from fifty different breweries, and twelve different countries. On the last day, if there are any kegs left, the breweries are gonna make them available for sale."

"You know who would love that? Besides me, of course. My old friend Terrence Pomm. Terrence would do anything for beer. Matter of fact, he used to bet for beers. But he'd say that it couldn't be any of that cheap watered-down crap that most Americans consider beer. He demanded good beer, and he'd bet on anything for it" Uncle Sal took a sip of his Spud's beer and continued. "Well, one time, some friends and I figgered we had a bet we couldn't lose. Al Korn says he'll give Terry twenny bucks if he could eat six saltines in a minute. Of course with nothin' to wash 'em down."

"Wait a minute. Twenty bucks for that? That hardly seems challenging."

"That's what made it such a great bet. Terry laughed at the twenny bucks and told us no way. So I proposed a keg of beer...Belgian beer. Ya shoulda seen his face light up at that. We agree on it. And I get him the six saltines. I start the clock and he shoves three in his mouth right away. Starts chewin' and after a few seconds realizes his mouth is dry and he's got a mouthful of saltine paste that he can't do nothin' with. His eyes get all big and he spends the rest of the minute just tryin' to get those three saltines down. That keg of beer? It was the best beer I ever had and all because I knew ya can't make a Pomm bet without stakin' some kegs."

This episode featured:
Larry Lagermann as Uncle Sal
Porter Janssens as Giacomo
Jellybean Merengue as the dried cranberry.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."

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