Sunday, May 3, 2009

Uncle Sal and the Browbeaten Boyfriend (Episode 91)

Uncle Sal sat across from Giacomo at the Root Hog or Diner. They had stopped for dinner before the Wombats game. Uncle Sal shook some salt from the igloo salt shaker into his palm and licked it off as Giacomo checked his cell phone.

"Whatta ya doin', Giacomo?" Uncle Sal asked as he brushed some grains of salt from his Wombats Harry Foofaraw jersey.

"My phone just vibrated, so I was checking to see if I got a message from my friend Oleg Rudd. I asked him if he wanted to come with us tonight. I didn't get any response from him. He's probably going out with his girlfriend Sloane." Giacomo rolled his eyes.

"What's wrong with a guy goin' out with his girlfriend?"

"Nothing. It's just this girlfriend. They're a pretty new couple so they're all lovey-dovey, making out in public. And they're always calling each other these silly names like Sugar-lump or mini-muffin. It's really horrible. I mean, as much as I like Oleg, it's hard to be around him when he's with Sloane."

The waitress brought Uncle Sal's bacon and egg sandwich and Giacomo's pesto penne. Giacomo looked down at his plate. "I got Boutros Boutros-Ghali. What did you get?"

"Bowling Hall of Fame."

Giacomo took a bite of his pasta and said, "So now, Oleg spends all his time with Sloane. And when I do see him, I have to put up with her. The funny thing is, Oleg did something like this in college too. He met this girl Nikki Sloane and we couldn't get him out drinking or anything. That was even worse because it wasn't just the public affection and the silly names. He actually had to ask permission to go out with anyone but her."

Uncle Sal shook his head. "Well, I reckon that sort of thing'll happen. Guy gets a new girlfriend and wants to spend all of his time with her and not his buddies. Seems to me that you should know by now; you can't get Rudd from a Sloane."

This episode featured:
Stu D. Baker as Uncle Sal
Rob A. Banks as Giacomo
Jellybean Merengue as the Boutros Boutros-Ghali plate.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "If you want to bray, go find yourself a barnyard."

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