Saturday, June 5, 2010

Uncle Sal and the Stiff Songwriter (Episode 146)

In the Root Hog or Diner, Uncle Sal set his newspaper down on the table next to the napkin dispenser as he was joined by Giacomo and his voluptuous girlfriend Lavay. He stole another glimpse at her and wondered how Giacomo so consistently found women whose proportions were so...easily noticeable.

"What's the news, Uncle Sal?"

"I was just readin' the celebrity obituaries. Didja know Cael Gusterson died?"

In chorus, Lavay and Giacomo said, "Who's Cael Gusterson?"

"He's a songwriter."

Giacomo removed a mini-bottle of Kahlua from the pocket of his jeans and tipped it into his coffee. "Really? I never heard of him."

"Maybe ya never heard of him, but I'll betcha breakfast you know a couple of his songs."

Giacomo thought for a moment and said, "I don't think I could name them."

"He wrote some classics. Of course you know the song 'I Wanna Fight You, Santa Claus.'"

Lavay's and Giacomo's eyes lit up and they started to sing the song together. After a sip of his coffee, Giacomo said, "Oh yeah! I love that song! That's about the only Christmas song I've ever liked."

"Yeah, well, that ain't all. He also wrote a classic country song. You know the song 'My Baby Left Me Blue (When She Locked Me in the Freezer)?'"

Giacomo sang a couple bars of the song for Lavay who laughed at the title but said she didn't know the song."

"So he died, huh?" Lavay asked. "What other songs did he write?"

"He didn't write no other songs. He was a Cael of two ditties."

This episode featured:
Wallace "Bass" Cleff as Uncle Sal
Gamaliel "Barn" Dantz as Giacomo
Melody Rich as Lavay
Jellybean Merengue as the napkin dispenser.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "I've seen monkey fights at the zoo more organized than this."

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