Saturday, August 7, 2010

Uncle Sal and the Artistic Automobile (Episode 155)

Uncle Sal bit a deep-fried Oreo as he walked out of the muscle car section of the classic car show. Some crumbs fell from his Graceland Mafia t-shirt onto his program. "Boy that 1970 blue Dodge Charger we saw was sump'n else, eh, Giacomo?"

"What I wouldn't give to drive that thing. Especially the way the owner has souped it up. I bet that would be an awesome ride."

Uncle Sal wiped his hands on his brown and yellow plaid golf pants and said, "So, what's next on the agenda? The program says there's a Chrysler Cordoba somewhere in an exhibit by itself. Thing I can't figure out is why a Cordoba is on display among all these T-birds, Galaxies, and Bel-Airs."

Giacomo said, "I read about that car. It's owned by a guy called Heinrich 'Strife' Strieffmann. In the article I read, the guy said he bought it because it was a cheap piece of junk and he just needed something that would get him to work and back. Well, the thing gave him all kinds of problems. He only worked seven miles from home but the bus probably would have been more reliable. The guy said he had to add oil to the car once a week, among other problems. So, he decided that he would at least make it look good."

They stopped to look at the Cordoba. The passenger side was covered with paintings of cartoon characters. "Look at this," Uncle Sal said. He's got all of the Beauregard Brothers characters on here. There's Beleaguered Bat. And Mischievous Muskrat. Oh, and there's Humphrey Hound."

They walked around the front of the car to look at the driver's side. The entire driver's side was painted primer gray except for the rear quarter panel. "Why ain't there nothin' on the driver's side?"

"There is one thing. It's the first character the owner ever painted on the car, so he decided to preserve this side." Giacomo led Uncle Sal to the back of the car. And there, right above the rear left tire was a painting that stretched to the back bumper. Uncle Sal moved closer and saw a picture of the Beauregard Brothers signature character, Bossy Bighorn.

Uncle Sal said, "Will you look at that? All those paintings on the one side and over here ya gotta sheep on the funny ride of Strife."

This episode featured:
Edsel Hudson as Uncle Sal
Tucker "Maverick" Maroevic as Giacomo
Jellybean Merengue as the left rear tire.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "If all the cops looked like him, there'd be no crime at all."

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