Saturday, July 31, 2010

Uncle Sal and the Garrulous Girlfriend (Episode 154)

When Uncle Sal and Alice got to their seats at the annual caber toss championships, they saw Giacomo sitting next to a petite brunette with short hair. She wasn't the sort of girl Giacomo usually went for. She was much smaller and less curvy.

"Uncle Sal, this is my friend Earl."

Uncle Sal blinked a couple of times and wondered if he had misjudged his nephew's companion. "Earl? Not Earlene."

"No, it's Earl." She launched into a story of how she had been named for her grandfather, who had been a Korean War hero. She went on to relay what must have been every detail of her grandfather's life. She wasn't long into her story when Uncle Sal started looking for the beer vendor. After a five-minute monologue, Uncle Sal had his cup of Spud's and Earl finished her story with, "My parents thought they were having a boy that they would name for my grandfather. Surprise! But they decided that they were going to name me Earl anyway."

Uncle Sal removed a cat hair from his Radio Free Bakersfield t-shirt and took a long pull from his cup as he watched Angus MacGregor heave his caber.

"She's seeing Alberto Montoya, the Spanish soccer player."

"Futbol," she corrected him. "He's nice, but..."

Earl began another monologue about a list of men that included an Italian actor, a Transylvanian count, a physicist, and a mattress salesman named Thurston Grumman. All of whom she might have been currently or previously engaged to. During this soliloquy, Uncle Sal flagged down a bratwurst vendor and ordered two with extra sauerkraut. When she finally reached the end (Uncle Sal wondered how she could talk so long without seeming to pause for breath), he picked a piece of sauerkraut off of his blue and orange plaid golf pants, he said, "Whoa! Whoa! Hold on there! That sure was a mouthful, but let me see if I've got it straight. You've got all these guys on the hook, but Earl, you'll be a Grumman soon?"

This episode featured:
Scott Land as Uncle Sal
Mandy Kiltz as Alice
Pete Boggs as Giacomo
Nina Brogue as Earl
Jellybean Merengue as the cat hair.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "I've got a Mexican hot rod!"

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