Saturday, November 13, 2010

Uncle Sal and the Reprehensible Reporter (Episode 169)

Inside Tex's Mexican Cantina, Uncle Sal bit a jalapeno, put the stem on his plate and washed it down with a sip of Old Gringo beer. He brushed some margarita salt off of his The Bambi Molestors t-shirt and spoke to the sports editor of the Potboiler Anders Messerkram. "The heck is goin' on over at the Potboiler? How come ya went and got rid of Hunter Hartley? Nobody covered the Wombats like him."

After a sip of his tequila sunrise, Anders said, "We were forced to get rid of Mr. Hartley."

"But why? I mean, I never come across anyone that knew more about baseball or the Wombats than that guy."

"Unfortunately, Mr. Hartley said some, shall we say, regrettable things to me after his most recent piece. There was nothing to do but cut him loose and allow him to seek employment elsewhere."

"And then you go and bring in this guy Bryce Plevin. Forget that the guy is prolly a hunnerd years old. Have you actually read this guy's stuff? His sentences go on forever. It's like havin' William Faulkner on the sports page. Ya ever notice how many sentences he begins with, 'Back when I was a youngster?' And his favorite topic is how things used to be when he was young and dirt was still a new concept. He's always going on about how the players of today don't measure up to the players when he was young and how the game was so much better back before electricity was discovered."

"Sal, I'm sorry you feel that way, but if you had heard what Mr. Hartley said to me, you would know that I had no choice in the matter."

"OK, so maybe you had to fire the guy, but now we're stuck with the dreck of the old whiny Plevin."

This episode featured:
"Tortilla" Chip Jaramillo as Uncle Sal
Antonio "Sir" Veza as Anders Messerkram
Jellybean Merengue as the jalapeno stem.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "I know what being a manager can do to a man."

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