Saturday, December 18, 2010

Uncle Sal and the Bestowed Beef (Episode 174)

In the Karate Chophouse, Uncle Sal slid into a booth across from Sister Mary Evelyn. He ordered a Chumbawamba from a passing waitress and said, "How ya been?"

Out of habit, she was holding her rosary. She slid it into her pocket as she began speaking. "Oh, I've been good. You know how much I love this time of year. We always go and bring toys to the children's hospital and the group homes for for kids. I'll tell you, nothing is better than seeing the smiles when we deliver gifts to children who really appreciate them."

Sal took a steak fry from the platter and put it in his mouth. As he chewed, he brushed the piece of green onion that had fallen onto his Against the Grain t-shirt.

"Oh, and speaking of gifts that are appreciated, you'll never believe what someone left with us today. Anonymously."

"A Tibetan boy who is supposed to be the chosen one?"

Sister Mary Evelyn furrowed her brow and narrowed her eyes. "What? No. Someone left us a big box of steaks. Ribeyes. Can you believe it? Didn't even leave a note or anything."

Uncle Sal could smell the steaks from the adjacent tables and thought about the ribeyes delivered to his sister's convent. "So, when can I pick up this box of steaks?"

"What? Sorry, Sal. You can't."

"But that'd be perfect for my winter solstice barbecue. I'll pay for 'em."

"No, Sal. They've already been designated. You see, last week was Father Mackenzie's 50th birthday. We had a party for him and the cake was provided by the brother of one of the sisters in the convent. You know how Father Mackenzie always looks like he has a five o'clock shadow? Well, the man who made the cake also decorated it. It was beautiful, like you see on one of those cooking shows. Anyway, he made this cake and on top, he made a frosting cartoon of Father's face on a Fred Flintstone's body. It really made all of us laugh. But he wouldn't take any payment for this amazing cake. Believe me, we tried. We're going to give the box of steaks to him as our thanks for Father's cake."

Sal frowned. "Dang! Ribeyes are my favorite. It woulda been great if I coulda scored an entire box for the solstice, but I guess I'll have to think of sump'n else since you want to steak your funny baker."

This episode featured:
Ernesto Tubbs as Uncle Sal
Gwen "Thumper" Lapin as Sister Mary Evelyn
Pat Agonia as the waitress
Jellybean Merengue as the piece of green onion.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, " If you get bitten by a shark, you're not just gonna give up surfing, are you?"

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