Saturday, January 22, 2011

Uncle Sal and the Factotum's Fish Fry (Episode 179)

At the Salvador Deli, Uncle Sal sat under a child's red wagon whose cargo was a stuffed muskrat with a monocle. He ordered a Melting Clock and a hot pastrami on toasted rye with extra mustard and a large pickle on the side. Uncle Sal slid a toothpick behind his ear and said, "Hey Giacomo! How ya been? Ya goin' to that tattoo convention this weekend?"

After a long sip of his Melting Clock, Giacomo shook his head no.

"No? Why not? I thought you loved seein' all them beautiful women with tattoos up to the neck."

"I do. And last year, the bands they had playing were awesome, but something came up."

"Sump'n came up? It must be pretty good if you're going to skip the tattoo deal."

"It is. Hey, you should come too. My friend Ya Wu is having a fish fry. He's the kind of guy that can barter for just about anything."

Uncle Sal received his drink and stirred it with a swizzle stick in the shape of a giraffe's neck. "Boy, they sure know howta make a drink here."

"They sure do. So, Ya Wu, he's always doing odd jobs for people. You know, he cleans their gutters, fixes garbage disposals. Things like that. The reason people always go to him is because he never charges money. He sometimes works for meals, or maybe he'll see something in the house that he likes and he'll find a way to barter for it. Like this one guy had a picture of Gerald Ford playing golf with the basketball coach from the university where Ya went. Well, Ya set that picture as the cost before he ever got to work in that house. Recently, this guy Rod Rigglevyk contacted Wu. Rod works at this seafood restaurant, so he always gets good fish. Plus, his cousin works for a beer distributor, so he always gets great beer."

Giacomo speared a deep-fried pickle with his fork and popped it in his mouth. "Ross took Ya down in the cellar where there was a leak. While he was down there, Ya saw a case of German doppelbock. He was just about to ask for that when Ross took him to the freezer and showed him some nice filets of sole he had received. Well, that settled it. Ya wasn't going to settle for just the beer. He set his price as the case of dopplebock and half of the fish. Really, you should come along. It's going to be amazing."

"Boy, that does sound good. I love a good fish fry, and the beer sounds great. We should be thankful that Rod gave bock and sole to Wu."

This episode featured:
Ray Sturgeon as Uncle Sal
Gino "Sockeye" Lapaglia as Giacomo
Jellybean Merengue as the giraffe swizzle stick.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "What do you need a psychiatrist for? Everyone knows you're crazy."

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