"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" A little person dressed in a yellow and red Velcro suit screamed as he flew toward the mat covered with Velcro. The crowd cheered when he stuck to the wall about six feet off the ground.
"Sure was a good idea to come to this midget toss, Giacomo." Uncle Sal adjusted his Danville Braves trucker hat and took a long drink of Spud's from a red plastic cup promoting the fifth annual midget toss and crawfish boil.
"Yeah, this is always a good event."
The emcee announced the next contestant and a tall, dark-skinned man with a long ponytail stepped up to take his turn throwing a midget.
"Look at the size of that guy. He must be six-nine, two-fifty. And it's a bold man that can go around wearing only a loincloth."
"I know that guy. That's Crowfoot. He's 100 percent Cree Indian. I went to see my friend's band the other night. You met her. She's in Fun Buster and the Wet Blankets. Anyway, Crowfoot's band The Potato Chippewas was the headliner. Didn't know anything about the band but it mixes traditional Indian music with hardcore punk." Giacomo threw a pistachio shell on the ground. "So he says the band is going to do a cover song and asks if anyone in the audience knows the words to 'How Can I Say I Love You (with a Shotgun in my Mouth?' I was the only one that raised my hand, and he invited me on stage to come and sing it."
"That's something you won't forget easily."
"Yeah, and that's not all. Crowfoot's got this bassist in his band who just calls himself The Dave. He's written a book called The Punk Manifesto. He announced that he was going to give away a copy to anyone who could answer a trivia question that I happened to know. So there I am just supporting a friend's band..."
"And you end up with the band of the Cree and the tome of The Dave."
This episode featured:
Furley Banner as Uncle Sal
Gerhard Flagg as Giacomo
Jose Canusee as Crowfoot
Early Light as the midget
Jellybean Merengue as the loincloth.
Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "Report back to me when it makes sense."