Saturday, June 11, 2011

Uncle Sal and the Pressured Paramour (Episode 199)

Uncle Sal and Giacomo were joined in The Crow Bar by Julius Hudderslee. Uncle Sal removed his Descendents trucker cap from the stool next to him to make room for Julius.

"Why the long face, Jules?"

Julius ordered a white russian and said, "I gotta go to marriage class at St. Hedwig's."

Uncle Sal winced. "Well, no one says ya gotta go."

"Abbie does. It's the craziest thing. Abbie hasn't been to a Catholic church since she was old enough to decide she didn't want to go, but her mom is insisting we go to these marriage workshops because she wants to make sure we do things right. She's even going to sit in on the classes with us." Julius removed his glass from a Crazy Train coaster and took a long drink from his white Russian. "It's every Saturday for two months. This is the first one. Can you imagine? And you know what's the worst part? The classes are taught by a nun. A nun! What does a nun know about marriage?"

Uncle Sal shook his head and noticed an extra-large red thong hanging from the rafters of the bar. "Ya oughta come with us to the bikini mud run. Everyone who enters, even the guys, has to wear a bikini. And they serve pretty good beer there too."

"Don't tempt me. Besides, if I was about to do something fun, Abbie would probably sense it and find some way to put an end to it."

Uncle Sal popped a peanut butter pretzel into his mouth. "Look, Jules. Ya said this class goes on for two months, right? What happens if you skip one of them? I mean, it ain't like she's gonna call off the wedding, right? Besides, what's gonna be more memorable? A bikini mud run or some stuffy marriage class?"

"Well, there's no doubt the bikini mud run would be more fun and memorable, but...I'm gonna have to hear it from Abbie if I skip the first class."

"You only live once."

Jules knitted his brow and said, "I shouldn't."

"You don't want to go to that class. Why not do something you want to do?"

Jules remained tight-lipped.

"Three words: bikini mud run. Go on, shake the honey and nun."

This episode featured:
Steve Millevich as Uncle Sal
Mack Eagleton as Giacomo
Abney K. Dabra as Julius Hudderslee
Jellybean Merengue as the extra-large red thong.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "If I had known it was going to be this kind of party I would have worn underwear."

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