Thursday, January 19, 2012

Ask Uncle Sal: Whiskey for Breakfast?

Hey Uncle Sal, long-time reader, first-time asker. Anyways, my girlfriend is staying over tonite and I want to impress her with a great breakfast. What will go better with Cap'n Crunch: Wild Turkey or Southern Comfort? Wondering in Weehawken

Do you mean to pour on the cereal or to sip on the side? No, forget I asked. If yer askin' me to choose between Wild Turkey and SoCo, I'll take Wild Turkey. SoCo is for hurricanes and nothin' else. But here's the thing, Wondering. Ya really want to impress this girl o' yours, put some of them waffles in the toaster and serve 'em with a white russian. If she ain't impressed by that, then ya know she's not the right one for you.

I wore a sleeveless v-neck sweater to church last week. A lot of people asked me where my shirt was. What do you make of that? Puzzled in Pottawatomie

You ain't the only one puzzled. Seems to me ya left some very vital information outta this. For example, are you a particularly busty woman? If so, I couldn't possibly see the problem with it. If ya got it to show off, I say why not. Although some of them churchgoing types may not agree with me on that one.
Or are you a particularly hairy man who wasn't wearing a sweater at all and instead went shirtless to church. If that's the case, I can certainly understand the protest. Ain't no one wants to see a guy wearin' an all-natural sweater if ya get my drift.

Gotta question for Uncle Sal? Submit it at the Facebook fan page or to askunclesal[at]gmail[dot]com.

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