The waiter came to the table with the bill right after Alice and Giacomo's new girlfriend Lavonna had gone to the restroom. Giacomo picked up the little folder with La Grenouille Bleue in gold letters on the front. He looked at the bill and his eyes widened.
"Holy crud! A hundred and seventy-five dollars just for me and Lavonna? Eight dollars for a beer? I wish I would have known that before I ordered three of them."
Uncle Sal took the folder from him and looked at his bill. He shrugged. "Good thing I won some money at the track today."
Giacomo shook his head as he removed his wallet. He didn't have enough cash to cover his half, so he took out one of his credit cards. "I can't believe it. I mean, that was a good beer, but it wasn't that good."
Uncle Sal said, "You worry too much. It ain't like we're gonna come to this place alla time. It's something you can afford to do once in a while. Besides, your total ain't nearly as bad as my friend Dean Huffleminz when he went to a place like this one time. He was celebratin' a promotion and he brought his wife and in-laws to this fancy-schmancy place, kinda like this one, only a little more highfalutin. Well, Dean tells everyone at the start of the meal, 'Don't worry about the price. I'm buyin' tonight.'" Uncle Sal sipped his water then dried the drop of water that had fallen on the ameythyst porkpie hat he held in his lap. (He didn't trust them to check his hat after the recent coat-check scandal.)
"Well, let me tell ya sump'n. At the enda the night, he wished he hadn't told 'em not to worry about the price. They got the works, wine, lobster, baked Alaska. Ol' Dean gets the bill at the end of the meal. You know how much it was? Eight hunnerd dollars. I don't know if is promotion was that big."
"Eight hundred dollars? For dinner? That's absurd."
Uncle Sal handed the folder back to Giacomo and said, "You see? It could be worse. Sure, your bill may seem like a lot, but your hunnerd and seventy-five dollars don't amount to the bill of Dean's."
This episode featured:
Dirk Denkinger as Giacomo
Lucy Hare as Alice
Marijana Albuquerque as Lavonna
Taj Bullard as Uncle Sal
Jellybean Merengue as the folder
Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "I'm wearing fur pajamas."