Sunday, February 22, 2009

Uncle Sal and the Harebrained Hike (Episode 81)

Giacomo put the cap back onto his Carmen Miranda canteen as Uncle Sal used his Golden State Warriors Joe Barry Carroll jersey to wipe some drops of water from the stubble on his chin.

"Uncle Sal, how do you know we're going the right way?"

"Don't worry. This is the right way. No one knows more about the Legend of Clod like me."

"I'm not so sure about this? Who was this Clod guy anyway?"

"Darius Cloddingus. He was a local legend. Kind of an explorer of all things local. The guy loved to hike, especially in these parts. Now, the legend says that before he went crazy, he buried some treasure somewhere on this mountain. Then he went crazy and naturally, he couldn't remember where he put it."

"But if he had treasure, why would he bury it? It doesn't make any sense."

"Sure it does. Guvmint can't tax it if they don't know it exists. So, he puts it somewhere on the mountain, and goes up to get it when he needs it. Ideally."

He continued the story as they headed up the mountain to search for the treasure.

"Yeah, but how does anyone know that it's actually up there? I mean, there must be loads of people that have looked for it already, and haven't found it. If you ask me, it sounds like an urban legend."

"Well, ain't nobody gonna make you keep goin' up. You can head back if you wanna. But I'll tell ya, if I find the treasure of Clod, I ain't gonna share it with ya."

Giacomo remained silent for an hour until they came to a forked path on the way up the mountain.

"So, which way do we go now?" Giacomo asked.

Uncle Sal looked around and scratched his head. "Well, now that is a good question." He looked to the left, and again to the right. He pointed to the right. "We go that way."

"How do you know?"

"Just like it says in the legend, X and honker point the way to another red-letter day."

"X and honker? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Look close. The two big branches on this tree form an X."

Giacomo couldn't argue with that, but wondered how many trees on the path had formed an X.

"And if you look real close at the pattern in the bark, you can see Karl Malden's face. That's the honker and this looks like the path of Clod."

This episode featured:
Gabe Veringen as Giacomo
Hesperus Flotilla as Uncle Sal
Jellybean Merengue as the Carmen Miranda canteen.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says: "Your teacher was arrested for giving vodka to students."

No comments: