Sunday, February 1, 2009

Uncle Sal and the Succinct Sermon (Episode 78)

Uncle Sal smoothed his LA Kings Rogie Vachon jersey as he walked into the Karate Chophouse. He was surprised to see Sister Mary Evelyn already seated. He moved the saffron napkin to the edge of the table as he slid into the booth.

"I didn't expect you to be here already. I figured I'd have time for a cocktail before you got here."

The waitress came to the table and asked if she could get Sal and Mary Evelyn something to drink. Uncle Sal ordered a Cajun martini and Mary Evelyn ordered a hot tea.

"It was a short mass today. Funny thing, that. That seems to happen every team Melinda Wentz sings. She's a beautiful woman with long auburn hair and big hazel eyes. She seems to wear nothing but really tight sweaters and skirts on the days she sings."

The waitress arrived and placed the tea in front of Mary Evelyn and the Cajun martini in front of Uncle Sal. He splashed a couple drops of Tabasco into his martini and sipped it. "Perfect."

"So, anyway, like I was saying, things seem to get all jumbled up on the days she sings. We do communion and the offering at the beginning, even before the sermon. Then she sings. Then Father Mackenzie gets behind the pulpit and starts to deliver a normal sermon. After about five minutes, he starts to speak really quickly and before you know it, he is telling everyone to go in peace. And he doesn't even hang around to talk to the parishioners after these short sermons. It's so weird."

"I dunno. If I were you I think I'd count my blessings that the mass is always leaner on the other side of the Wentz."

This episode featured:
Ruben Samich as Uncle Sal
Dorothy N. Toto as Sister Mary Evelyn
Jellybean Merengue as the saffron napkin.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "You two are dumber'n a bag o' hammers."

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