Sunday, October 4, 2009

Uncle Sal and the Blundering Baseballers (Episode 113)

Uncle Sal looked at the sports section, shook his head and said, "Hmmmmm."

Alice glanced across the table at him and said, "What seems to be the trouble, Sal."

After a glance at his Gregarious Gnu watch, he said, "The trouble is that the playoffs start next week and the Wombats look like they're falling apart. I never seen a sorrier buncha saps than these guys. Take this story, for instance. It's in the police report part of the sports section. Seems like the Wombats power hitter, that's a guy called Stokes Benchley, got himself into trouble. He gets pulled over a couple nights ago. The cops, they say they was pulling him over because he had a tail light out. But when they get to his car, they find he's got a prostitute and a small amount of marijuana on the seat. Turns out, that was only the beginning. They asked him to pop the trunk and found a couple kilos of dope in there."

The waitress arrived with Alice's soft-boiled egg and toast, and Uncle Sal's corned beef hash with home fries. Sal immediately doused his fries with hot sauce and ketchup and continued.

"Then ya got Frankie Meyer, who flipped out when the Wombats were on the road. Meyer, he's an obsessive-compulsive neat freak. But when they were on the road, he roomed with the shortstop, who apparently is a total slob. Well, three days of rooming with this guy, and Meyer had a complete breakdown."

Uncle Sal shoveled some hash into his mouth and said, "You believe these guys?"

Alice was never sure what to say when Sal got to ranting about the Wombats. She merely shook her head. Although she didn't really need to say anything.

"I can't believe 'em, that's for sure. Two days away from the playoffs and you got Stokes on the blotter and Meyer in the sty."

This episode featured:
Deepak "Purple" Singh as Uncle Sal
Lizette Stoneman as Alice
Jellybean Merengue as the soft-boiled egg.

Tune in next week, when Uncle Sal says, "This is gonna take crackerjack timing, Wang."

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