Sunday, October 25, 2009

Uncle Sal and the Foreboding Fairway (Episode 114)

Uncle Sal, Joe, Alice and Uncle Sal's niece Angie came to the 7th tee. Uncle Sal adjusted his argyle sweater vest and started to give Angie instructions on how to play the menacing Par 4. The fairway was narrow and difficult to hit in the best of circumstances. But the designer wasn't satisfied with that. He had called for a line of trees down one side of the fairway and a large bunker on the other. Making the hole nearly impossible was the fact that the narrow fairway funneled right into a creek.

"Now Angie, you see how impossible this hole is. Only the biggest hitters can get it over the creek. I know you're a pretty big hitter yourself, but you see all the trouble you can get into. It's real easy to take an eight on this hole. Most members will either lay up in front of the creek. Or another thing they'll try is to hit it over to the eighth fairway and then hit it toward the seventh green. The most important thing to do is to keep it straight. Straight and short is better than long and in trouble."

Angie nodded as Uncle Sal put his bright orange ball on the tee. He selected a 3-iron from his bag and hit it so it just ended up on the left edge of the fairway, leaving him a fairly open shot to the green.

Joe hit his shot into the bunker and cursed. Angie merely looked at the hole is if she were trying to stare it into submission. Joe stood next to Sal and said, "She plays pretty good. Big hitter. She outdrives most of the men that play here."

"Don't I know it. She puts me to shame. Y'know, I think if she really wanted to, she could try and become a pro. I never bet with her on the course, even with my handicap. Might as well flush yer money right down the toilet."

Angie stepped to her bag and removed the driver. After staring at the hole for a few more seconds, she took a few practice swings.

Joe nudged Sal and said, "She just took the driver, didn't she?"

Sal nodded.

"But that's crazy. That could wreck her whole round. She takes maybe a triple bogey here, then the next hole's no picnic. Do you really think she's going to..."

"It sure looks like it to me."

Angie addressed the ball and as she got set, Uncle Sal whispered, "Sure enough. She's flying the fairway to seven."

This episode featured:
Matt "Mashie" Niblick as Uncle Sal
Beauregard "Birdie" Fletzen as Joe
Sandy von Trapp as Angie
Hannah Bunker as Alice
Jellybean Merengue as the orange ball.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "Send him back to his father and brothers, who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary."

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