Uncle Sal and the Leisurely Laborer (Episode 125)

Uncle Sal sat down in the Cocked-up Cafe and sipped his coffee with a shot of espresso, hoping it would help him over his hangover from the Fruitcake Toss Day festivities. A man walked into the place and the waitress Bunny shouted from behind the counter, "Hey Iggy. Shouldn't you be at work?" The man waved with his newspaper and ordered a coffee and a raspberry scone. Uncle Sal was so startled by the volume of Bunny's voice, he spilled coffee on his I H8 Fruitcake sweater vest.

"I imagine someone might be expecting me at work, but it's such a nice day, especially for this time of year, that it would be a shame to waste it working. I'm going to play golf."

Bunny chuckled as she handed over the coffee and scone. When the man was out the door, Bunny turned to Uncle Sal and said, "You know who that guy is?"

"The Dalai Lama?"

She laughed. "Boy, that's a good one. No. That's Ignatius Hicks. Ain't no one better at avoiding work than he is. You'll never guess what his job is."

"Fire watcher?"

She laughed again. "Naw. His job is to turn the gears of the clock in the university tower. Not like it's an incredibly hard job. Or like he ever actually does the work. He's got an assistant, name of Carter. Now Carter is one of these go-getters. No matter what he does, he wants to be the best at it, even if it's somethin' like winding a giant clock. So Iggy'll come up with some excuse as to why he can't do his job and Carter is more'n happy to do it. Iggy once told Carter he wouldn't be able to make it because he had to take his dog to the vet. Hicks ain't never owned a dog. Doesn't like 'em. But Carter, he does the job and that leaves Iggy free to do whatever he pleases. And Iggy does just that. You believe that?"

"I can't say I blame him. Seems like a pretty good life for him when Hicks just keeps getting Carter to wind."

This episode featured:
Paolo Rader as Uncle Sal
Stan Revere as Iggy Hicks
Ilse Swearingen as Bunny
and
Jellybean Merengue as the raspberry scone.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "And after that, the game was mine."