Saturday, July 24, 2010

Uncle Sal and the Canned Crooner (Episode 153)

Uncle Sal brushed some margarita salt off of his The Love Me Nots t-shirt and watched as a man walked by his booth at the Liberty Bull Steakhouse. Turning to Alice, Giacomo, and Giacomo's new girlfriend Coco, he said, "Is that someone famous? He looks familiar."

Giacomo brushed a piece of lobster off of his shirt that flew after Coco had cracked the tail with her man-hands. He doused doused his ribeye with Sweep's Steak Sauce and answered. "That's Terry Meier. He was the lead singer of Gabardine Smog."

"Wasn't that the band that sang 'My Baby Left Me Flatter than My Tires that She Slashed'?"

"Yeah. That's the band."

"So, he was the lead singer? Why ain't he anymore?"

"Well, it was really a weird situation. I mean, he didn't just sing, he also wrote the lyrics. So you'd think he'd be pretty safe in a band. And the band was having some good success. But the rest of the guys didn't like how he fit into the band. While they were really energetic on stage, he would just stand there and look at his shoes when he sang. And when he did interviews he would give really short, really boring answers, to the point that no journalist wanted to book the band anymore."

Giacomo speared a steak fry, put it in his mouth and said, "Then one night, the band was playing a show in Sheboygan and after a couple numbers, the guitarist said he was having some technical difficulties and he stepped off stage. He waved Terry over and told him right there that he couldn't stand Terry's bland delivery anymore and that he was out of the band. The band finished the set with no vocals. You believe that? I mean, they kicked the guy out of the band in the middle of a set in Sheboygan."

"Well, I guess the guys had a good reason. From what yer tellin' me, Terry Meier was a dull Smog."

This episode featured:
Pascal Plates as Uncle Sal
Jiro Kobe as Giacomo
Shelly Fisch as Coco
Jenise Flank as Alice
Chuck Rehr as Terry Meier
Jellybean Merengue as the piece of lobster.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "This was, I believe, the first recorded instance of a CIA agent being eaten alive by a rainbow trout!"

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