Saturday, July 10, 2010

Uncle Sal and the Grand Gluttons (Episode 151)

Uncle Sal settled onto a stool next to Giacomo in the Lazy Lounge and looked up at the TV above the bar. Alyssa served him a Spud's and a shot of bourbon without Uncle Sal having to order. He pulled a twenty out of the pocket of his green and orange striped golf pants and set it next to a bottle of root beer schnapps on the bar. "The heck is this?"

"This is the World Series of competitive eating. It's pretty amazing. The tournament starts off with 16 guys. In each round, they have a different food challenge. One round, it was meatball subs. Another round, it was bratwurst. In this round, the guys get to see who can eat more cheesecake in 12 minutes."

As Uncle Sal downed his bourbon, one of the contestants was shown on the screen.

"Jumpin' caterpillars! Look at that guy! He's built like a meatball with legs. I ain't ever seen anyone as rotund as that guy."

"Yeah, that's Josephus Oobleck. He's the odds-on favorite to win this."

"I should think so. That guy probably doesn't even feel anything he's eaten today. Anyone check to see if he's eaten his opponent?"

Oobleck's opponent appeared on the screen. "Great grouper! Look at that guy! I didn't know Sasquatch was allowed to enter a contest like this. With all that hair on him, he wouldn't ever need sunscreen, I can tell you that."

"Yeah, that's Sherwood Woolly."

"Well, he sure got the right last name. So, ya been watchin' this all day?"

"Sure have. Now it's the finals."

"And it's down to the round and the furry."

This episode featured:
Valdemar Viel as Uncle Sal
Guillaume Gourmand as Giacomo
Miranda Mayo as Alyssa
Jellybean Merengue as the bottle of root beer schnapps.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "Your fare is the only thing stopping me from breaking your face!"

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