Uncle Sal and the Suspect Speculation (Episode 195)

Giacomo was already at the table in the Cocked-up Cafe when Uncle Sal walked in. Uncle Sal removed his I H8 Biebs trucker hat, wiped his forehead with a red bandana and went to the counter where he ordered a coffee with two shots of espresso. He sat down across from Giacomo who had just finished pouring some Kessler whiskey into his cappuccino.

"Hey Giacomo, how ya been?"

"I've been pretty good and I think I'm about to be doing a lot better. You know my friend Dwight Stanislaus?"

Uncle Sal sighed. "I think I know where this is goin'. What's Dwight's plan for makin' money now?"

"It's a restaurant."

Uncle Sal rolled his eyes, then thanked the waitress who brought his coffee. Before he even tasted it, he emptied two miniature bottles of Jameson and one packet of sugar into it. "Giacomo, ya gotta know restaurants are a bad investment. Ya know how many of 'em go under in less than two years?"

"I know all that. But this restaurant idea is genius. It's a place where you can brew your own beer and make your own pizza. And the servers will all be young, attractive women wearing skimpy Catholic schoolgirl outfits. How can it miss?"

Uncle Sal rubbed the stubble on his chin. "What's the buy-in?"

"It's up to you."

"Well, it sounds like the sorta place I'd love to go to. Heck, I think it'd be a hit with any guy. Still, I don't know about it. If it was comin' from someone else, maybe I'd be more excited about it. 'Member when he got us to invest in Argentine cattle? Said it was a sleeper pick that a lot of folks was missin' out on. Well, it was a sleeper all right and it kept on sleepin'."

"Yeah, but...beer, pizza, hot chicks. It's got smash hit written all over it."

"I'm gonna have to think on it because I'm still kinda smartin' from the sly Dwight's past scheming."

This episode featured:
Francis Scott Kieszlowski as Giacomo
Nat Anthemms as Uncle Sal
and
Jellybean Merengue as the bandana.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "Where do middle-aged women get all of them spice racks?"