Uncle Sal and the Near-perfect Nymph (Episode 206)

Uncle Sal arrived at Giacomo's and removed his Montgomery Biscuits baseball cap. He had only taken three steps inside the place when Giacomo's new girlfriend Janet came from the kitchen. She wore a blue gingham crop top and a white apron that was longer than her denim miniskirt. "It's so nice to meet you! I fixed you a drink. I know you like whiskey, but I make a mean Cape Cod. I should. That's where I grew up."

Uncle Sal accepted the drink and walked to the couch where he removed the lime from the rim of the glass and squeezed it before he took a sip. "That's a nice stiff drink. Thanks." He wasn't sure if she heard because she immediately headed back to the kitchen.

Moments later, she returned with a platter. "Try these crab puffs. I made them myself. It's another thing we love on the Cape."

Uncle Sal popped one in his mouth and chewed it. "That is delicious!"

"Well, if you think that's good, just wait until dinner. We're having some chowder, gratin dauphinois and a salad with a raspberry vinaigrette that I also made myself."

"I can't wait," Uncle Sal said as he reached for another crab puff on the platter.

Janet kissed Giacomo and said, I'm going to get a couple beers from the cooler outside. You don't have to do anything but sit there and talk with your uncle."

"Sure thing, babe."

When she closed the door for the back patio, Uncle Sal said, "Giacomo, where did you find this woman? She has beer on ice, a drink for you when you walk in the door, she's a great cook, and she's gorgeous. This is the marrying kind."

Giacomo sipped his Cape Cod and sighed. "Yeah, I know."

"Don't tell me you've found some flaw in her?"

"She is great. I mean, her cooking is amazing. And yeah, she makes a nice drink. She is easy on the eyes and knows how to treat a man, but..."

"But what?"

"Well, it's just she's always talking about the Cape. People there are nicer. Restaurants are better. Sunsets are more beautiful. No matter what we do or where we go, it's not as good as the Cape. It's a drag. I don't know how much more of it I can stand."

Uncle Sal took a long drink from his glass. "Unbelievable. You've hit the lottery and that ain't good enough for ya. I can't believe you're already thinkin' about your escape from the Janet of the Cape."

This episode featured:
Ezra Zaius as Uncle Sal
Cornelius Taylor as Giacomo
Zira Nova as Janet
and
Jellybean Merengue as the platter.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "If this is the best they've got around here, in six months we'll be running this planet."