Saturday, July 16, 2011

Uncle Sal and the Salty Split (Episode 204)

Inside the Salvador Deli, Uncle Sal removed his sedge hat and spotted Giacomo in a booth. Above the booth was a stuffed beaver on a tricycle. The beaver held a fan paintbrush under his front teeth and a pizza pan on his tail.

Giacomo had a pint glass, one empty shot glass and one shot of whiskey in front of him. "Getting it going early today, eh Giacomo?"

"After the discussion I've just had, I need it. My friends sure know how to put on the drama." A waiter in a Nehru jacket came to the table and Uncle Sal ordered the same that Giacomo was drinking.

"My friends Juan and Lulu..." Giacomo sipped his shot of whiskey. "They've been at it for months now, going back to St. Patrick's Day. Juan had a little too much to drink. He said some things he immediately regretted. She threw all of his clothes out on the lawn and his keys into the bushes. Since then, they've been on and off. He says something stupid. She kicks him out. He does something sweet and she takes him back."

Uncle Sal was beginning to see why Giacomo was taking such a heavy dose of alcohol.

"So Juan calls me today and tells me it's over for good. No going back now. She saw him with another woman and even though she and Juan were technically on a break, Lulu got jealous. Not that she asked who the woman was. She just went right into argument mode. She said she was going to her sister's place for a while and when she returned his stuff better be gone, or she would throw it in the fire pit and get rid of it there. Well, Lulu has this trunk that's been passed down from her grandma. It's beautiful, all oak. It would probably fetch a lot of money on one of those antique shoes. Or it would have before today. Juan told me that after she left, he went up with a green permanent marker and drew shamrocks all over the thing."

Uncle Sal sipped his Spud's and said, "I guess he's right. There's no way they're getting back together after Juan drew clovers on Lulu's chest."

This episode featured:
Lochlan Nicholson as Uncle Sal
Nollaig Ratched as Giacomo
Jellybean Merengue as the fan paintbrush.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "Who would have thought that dolphins could go bad and that fish were magnetic?"

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