Saturday, October 23, 2010

Uncle Sal and the Distinctive Deer (Episode 166)

Uncle Sal entered Giacomo's place, looked around and noticed how empty the place seemed. "Whoa, Giacomo! You movin'?"

Giacomo said, "No. You would have heard about it if I were moving."

"Why's your place look so empty? No car magazines, no coasters. What's up?"

As Uncle Sal walked to the bar, he flicked a pine needle off of his Les Sexareenos t-shirt. Giacomo answered, "Oh that. My girlfriend Padma is watching her nephew this weekend. She told me I better childproof the house for when she brings him over, so I put away everything that I care about, the magazines, the sports cards. I mean, as much as I like her, I don't want her nephew ruining all my cool stuff."

Uncle Sal dropped some maraschino cherries into glasses, then grabbed a bottle of bitters and added a dash to each glass before topping both glasses with a generous amount of bourbon. When he took the drink to Giacomo, he noticed something on the lowest shelf of the bookcase.

"What is that? A buck made out of silverware?"

Giacomo sipped his Manhattan and picked it up. As he studied it, Giacomo said, "Isn't this great? He used parts of a rolling pin for the body, spoons for the legs."

"Are those lacquered coffee beans for the eyes?"

"Yeah, and this is the best detail. See, he used fork tines for the antlers. I bartended a party he threw and he gave me this for my efforts. I like it. I mean, no one else has anything like it."

"I'll say so. That's a one of a kind piece for sure. But if it means anything to you at all, you better set your Kriek stag high."

This episode featured:
Robb Cervidae as Uncle Sal
Antoine "Chocolate" Moosse as Giacomo
Jellybean Merengue as the bottle of bitters.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "The last thing I want to be remembered as is an annoying blabbermouth."

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