Uncle Sal entered the mall and said, "I can't believe I let you talk me into this."
Alice said, "Well, I need to get something for my brother for Christmas and you're about the same size. We should get something for you while we're here...to replace that LA Kings jersey you're wearing. Who's Nicholls anyway?"
Uncle Sal stopped cold. "Bernie Nicholls, the greatest Kings player ever. Anyway, I can't believe I'm here. And there's the Christmas music. I hate Christmas music."
"How can you hate Christmas music. It's lovely. I enjoy this time of year because it's Christmas music everywhere."
"That's the trouble," Uncle Sal muttered.
She looked at him, waiting for him to repeat what he had said, only louder. He wasn't about to give her the satisfaction. "You remind me of this woman Trisha Rutiglione. She loves everything about Christmas: the gifts, the music, the wreaths." Uncle Sal unwrapped a root beer candy and popped it into his mouth. "Every year she goes out caroling with this group of people. They dress up and go through neighborhoods singing carols. Well, one time last year, they went to this house. They ring the doorbell and of course the folks come to the door and the group begins to sing. That group didn't even get through one verse of the carol when the guy that answered the door started to curse and boo."
"He booed Christmas carolers?"
"Well, that's the trouble, ain't it. Folks start playing Christmas music around Thanksgiving. Then by the time Christmas comes, a lot of reasonable folks is sick of the whole thing." He caught Alice's evil eye and continued. "I ain't saying I condone that kinda behavior. I dislike Christmas music as much as the next guy, but I'd never do sump'n rude like hooting Trish in a carol."
This episode featured:
Elmer Vittenheimer as Uncle Sal
Iris diPesto as Alice
Jellybean Merengue as the root beer candy.
Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "It's not rocket science, it's brain surgery."