Sunday, November 8, 2009

Uncle Sal and the Exasperated Expatriate (Episode 116)

Giacomo was looking at his phone when Uncle Sal walked into The Bum's Steer, where they had arranged to meet for steak and whiskey.

"Whatcha doin, Giacomo? How come ya didn't have a whiskey here waiting for me?"

Giacomo looked up and said, "I've been reading this long message from my friend Ken Clark. He just moved over to Belgium for work and it happened kind of quickly. So, he packed all of his clothes but couldn't take a lot of other things with him on the plane."

Uncle Sal flagged down a waiter in a black cowboy hat and said, "We'd both like a Tullamore Dew, neat. But don't just put it in a shot glass. We want to sip it, not shoot it." He smoothed his Ohio State sweater vest and turned his attention back to Giacomo.

"So, Ken wrote to his brother and told him to pack up a crate with all of the things that he's missing most in Belgium. You know, his favorite CDs, books, yellow mustard, Hershey bars. Now Ken is all upset because the crate arrived, but there was no yellow mustard in it. He tells me that he stressed to his brother to include the yellow mustard because he can't get it in Belgium and he doesn't like the European style at all. So he writes to me, 'What am I supposed to put on my sausages? Mayonnaise? Blech!' Then he goes on and on about how incompetent his brother is. I mean, he's really upset about the whole thing. You should see this message."

Uncle Sal sipped his Tullamore Dew and said, "Mustard, eh? Seems like a big overreaction just because something's forgotten in the crate of Ken Clark."

This episode featured:
Fred "Cookie" Crumb as Giacomo
Abel Weiss as Uncle Sal
Jellybean Merengue as the black cowboy hat.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "I don't need you to tell me how good my coffee is."

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