Saturday, November 28, 2009

Uncle Sal and the Blitzed Bettor (Episode 119)

Uncle Sal entered The Crow Bar and sat across from Giacomo and someone who was resting his head on the table. The man's head was surrounded by three shot glasses and a pint glass with an image of a crowbar. Uncle Sal smoothed his Christmas tree sweater vest (a gift from his sister Mary Evelyn) and sat on the cracked burgundy Naugahyde seat of the stool.

"What's with your friend there?"

"Oh, that's Toby Harfentrowel. He's a little down."

Uncle Sal motioned to Kelly behind the bar for his usual pint of Spud's and a shot of rye. "That I can see. What's got him so he's passed out on a table at twelve minutes after seven on a Saturdy night?"

"Today was the World Series of log-rolling. And Toby here, well, he's been studying log-rolling. There is this guy called Luther Gould. He's the most dominant guy in the sport. I mean, he's like the Tiger Woods of log-rolling. He does especially well in the biggest events."

Kelly arrived with Uncle Sal's shot and beer. Uncle Sal sipped the beer, leaving a foam mustache on his lip. "So, Toby gets this idea, right? He figures he can clean up betting on this at work. So he tells anyone that'll listen that he'll take Gould and they can take the rest of the field. Gould is that good. So, he gets ten takers at fifty bucks a pop. Only to find out that Gould sprained his ankle getting out of the shower this morning. He gets on the log in the first round and doesn't even stay on for three seconds. That's it. He's done. And Toby owes five hundred bucks when he gets to work on Monday."

"Losing five hunnerd bucks on a log-roller, boy that's tough. You can be sure he won't bet Gould again."

This episode featured:
Harvey Hoodwinker as Uncle Sal
Keith Hoover as Giacomo
Roger Hooterberg as Toby
Natalie Schmeltzer as Kelly
Jellybean Merengue as the Naugahyde.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "Have you ever seen a commie drink a glass of water?"

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