In the Turn Your Head and Coffee Shop, Uncle Sal sat down across from Giacomo and his new girlfriend Earlene, who despite the chilly temperature, wore a gingham halter top, a skirt that was barely long enough to be called an article of clothing, and blue cowboy boots. Giacomo looked very much in need of a place like the Cocked-Up Cafe.
"You look a little rough, Giacomo. Long night?" He asked with a glance at Earlene.
Giacomo took a bite of his pecan coffee cake and said, "Uncle Sal, you wouldn't believe what happened. I went to the Crow Bar last night and who was in there but Father Marconi?"
"The head of the local Dominican monastery?"
"Yeah, that's the one. Well, Father Marconi was really tying one on. I mean, he must have been trying to forget something or someone. He was drinking Maker's Mark straight up, and when he wasn't chasing it with more whiskey, he was chasing it with beer. Now, you know Chip."
Uncle Sal picked a piece of lint off of his Jack of Hearts sweater vest and said, "Chip was there last night? Boy, he never shortchanges you on the booze. I like when he's there."
"Exactly. That was part of the problem. Chip was serving up drinks like he normally does, but then the more Father Marconi drank, the less Chip put in his drinks. So, at some point, Father Marconi goes up for another drink and Chip refuses to serve him. Tells the good Father he's had enough already. Marconi looks at Chip and says, 'Do you think I'm drunk?' And Chip answers, 'Does the Pope wear a funny hat?' That set Father Marconi off. He was ready to lunge over the bar and fight Chip with everything he had. I don't need to tell you that Father Marconi has all the size advantages on Chip, and even though he was lit up, I think he could have done some damage to Chip. So, I did just like my dad taught me. I grabbed Father Marconi, pinned both his arms to his sides and pulled him away from there. I mean, who knows what might have happened to Chip, or the bar, if Father Marconi got back there."
"Guess it's a good thing you were there to pull the abbot out of the spat."
This episode featured:
Edvard Monk as Uncle Sal
Henri Prieste as Giacomo
Barbara "Bar" Nunn as Earlene
Jellybean Merengue as the blue cowboy boots.
Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "We're not in Medford, we're in a hurry."