Uncle Sal and the Championship Bout (Episode 12)

Uncle Sal entered the Crow Bar and was greeted by one of the regulars, Hubie, who always sat in the same stool at the end of the bar. "Sal, did you watch the match?"

"What match?"

"The boxing match. You know, Songstad versus Birdsong. The Swedish Swashbuckler lost in a split decision against the Fostoria Flash."

Uncle Sal picked up his pint glass from the bar and felt a cold drop of condensation fall onto the leg of his lime green leisure suit. "More like the Swedish Meatball and the Fostoria Flop."

"Whatta ya mean? You didn't think it was a good fight?"

"Of course not. It was the worst thing I ever saw. Those two tomato cans, all they did was dance around and clutch each other the entire time. And when they did throw a punch, they were nowhere near hitting the other guy. Those dang palookas, they couldn't hit water if they fell out of a boat. How they get off charging fifty bucks to watch something like that on television, I'll never know. Both of those boxers are an embarrassment to the sport. And it ain't easy to embarrass boxing."

"They're already talking about a rematch. I'm telling ya, I can't wait for that."

"I can. If there is a rematch, ain't no way I'm watching it. I already seen that mess and I know two songs don't make a fight."

This episode featured:
Phil Rupp as Uncle Sal
Tommy Plummer as Hubie
and
Jellybean Merengue as the pint glass

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "No, I wouldn't like fries with that."

[23 October 2007]