Uncle Sal drove his Dodge Dart past the Think Outside the Bauxite aluminum foil plant and said, "Giacomo, did I ever tell you this place could have been mine?"
"No, Uncle Sal. How's that?"
"Well, this place offered me a lotta money to take me away from the job I had at the time, so I came to work here. After only two years, they moved me up to a management position. That made Fred Richter awful sore. He had worked longer for the company but the guy was a total screw-up. The kinda guy that if he's a cook, he can't make toast. You know what he used to do? He'd put a spare set, a dummy set of keys on his desk. He'd leave those keys right there where everyone could see and then he'd leave the building. People would see the keys on the desk and assume he must be there even if they never saw him."
Giacomo thought he might have to employ such a plan at some point. Uncle Sal came to a stop light, removed his burnt orange bowler hat and scratched his head. As soon as the hat was back on his head, the light turned green and Sal continued his story. "So, old Fred saw me get promoted and he was jealous. What did he do then? He started being real nice to the CEO. Even started going to lunch with old man Fleedleminster. Basically turned into a big suck-up."
Uncle Sal took a deep breath and said, "Worked like a charm. When it came time for old man Fleedleminster to retire, he chose that halfwit Fred to succeed him instead of someone who actually knows what he's doing."
"Really? So you could have been an aluminum magnate?"
"Yup, I coulda. But to the Richter belong the foils."
This episode featured:
Maynard McDowell as Uncle Sal
Chadwick Church as Giacomo
Jellybean Merengue as the stop light
Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "In your face, space coyote!"
[26 February 2008]