Uncle Sal walked around the table, looking at the items for sale. He saw the usual clothes and books as well as the unusual things like a 12-inch Loch Ness Monster action figure. Nothing was really catching his eye, not that he was surprised since it was Red's garage sale. He had never been convinced of Red's tastes. Then he saw the two items that were surely the prize of the sale: an autographed picture of a famous boxer and a circa 1977 24-inch color TV with a built-in hard plastic stand. He walked over to where Red had the cash box and said, "Well, Red, I'll just be taking that autographed picture of LaMotta and the television."
"Let's see here. That's forty and thirty-five. Seventy-five bucks altogether, Sal."
Not having any pockets for a wallet in his salmon-colored robe, Uncle Sal took the money pouch from around his neck and opened it.
"I'll give you sixty-three."
"Sal, that's a television and an autographed photo of LaMotta. I don't think seventy-five is too much to ask."
"But I only have sixty-three with me. Besides, this is a garage sale. Everyone knows that you're supposed to haggle at a garage sale. I'll give you sixty-three."
"I realize it's a garage sale. It's my garage and my stuff. But you're trying to tell me you'll give me twelve dollars less than what I'm asking. It's a garage sale, but I'm not gonna let you cheat me."
Uncle Sal raised his fist and said, "Cheat you? I never cheated nobody and I ain't gonna start now! I'm offering all the money I have on me."
"Which isn't sufficient in my opinion." Red tended to some other customers, then looked at Uncle Sal who was muttering to himself as he continued to eyeball the items he wanted.
"Look, Sal. It's real simple. Which one do you want more? I'll be glad to sell that to you, but..."
Uncle Sal stroked his chin, "Yeah, I see what your saying. I can't have your Jake and Zenith too."
This episode featured:
Joey Schabadoo as Uncle Sal
Manny Zedozie as Red
Jellybean Merengue as the Loch Ness Monster action figure
Tune in next week and hear Uncle Sal say, "Getcher hands off me, you dirty ape!"
[17 September 2007]