Uncle Sal, in his purple paisley pajamas, walked into the 10 of Clubs and saw Giacomo counting the tips from his jar at the third annual Disco Inferno Bash.
"Giacomo, when ya gonna get your car fixed? I ain't about to come to this dump and get you at 2:30 every morning."
"It'll be fixed later today so you won't have to worry about picking me up anymore."
"I sure hope so. I oughta be in bed."
Giacomo reached down and said, "Look what someone lost tonight! Isn't it great?" Some water trickled from the heel as he placed a platform shoe on the bar.
"Jeez, it's hideous! And why is it dripping?"
"C'mon Uncle Sal. It was a disco inferno party. So someone wore platform shoes, and you know, you can put goldfish in them. I'm going to keep it."
Before Sal could ask why Giacomo wanted a platform shoe, a skinny barefoot woman with bleached blonde hair entered the bar. She wobbled toward Giacomo, then steadied herself against the edge of the bar. She pointed an accusing finger at Giacomo and said, "Your club is terrible! I'm never coming back here again."
"You're here now."
"Don't interrupt me, you booze-slinging slug. This club is absolutely awful. I was nearly molested by some twenty-one year old in a butter-colored leisure suit. Your drinks were watered down and frankly I find the smell of this place unsavory. Not to mention that you have something that belongs to me."
"That shoe is mine and I would like it back."
"I was going to use that shoe for a fishbowl. Anyway, how do I know it's yours?"
The woman reached for the shoe and slid her foot inside. She lifted her foot as high as she could manage and said, "Ta-daaaa!"
Uncle Sal said, "Well, what do you know about that? The leaky heel fits the beast."
This episode featured:
Artie Choke as Uncle Sal
Jim Shue as Giacomo
Minnie Mazola as the blonde woman
Jellybean Merengue as the tip jar
Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "Fourteen is my limit on schnitzengruben!"
[9 October 2007]