Uncle Sal had just put on his honeydew-colored bowler hat and was getting ready to leave the Root Hog Or Diner when Giacomo walked in. He put his bowler hat on the seat next to him in the booth and said, "Jeez, Giacomo! Where ya been? I been waitin' here almost thirty minutes. I was ready to go home and have dry white toast for lunch. What took ya so long?"
"Oh, it's my friend Randy Samich. We got caught up in a discussion because he just broke up with his girlfriend." Giacomo picked up the hog-shaped menu and said, "I just can't believe he broke up with this girl, and I told him so. She's the best girl you'd ever want to meet. She's beautiful, with long dark hair and these eyes that are such a pale blue they're almost gray. And she is the sweetest thing. She's always affectionate with him and she lets him go and hang out with the guys when he wants."
Uncle Sal looked at the menu. "You been here before. How's the club sandwich?"
"What? Oh, the club. Yeah, it's pretty good. So, anyway. Not only is this girl beautiful and affectionate and sweet. She can cook like you wouldn't believe. Her chicken piccata is outstanding. I mean, it's as good as anything you can get in any restaurant around here."
"Why are you taking this so hard? It's not like you broke up with her. Matter-a fact, I think you'd be happy. You like this girl so much, here's your chance to ask her out."
Giacomo sighed. "Uncle Sal, I'm already seeing someone. You met her last week. Remember Alexa?"
Uncle Sal shrugged. "Yeah, yeah. The one with the big..." Giacomo glared at Uncle Sal. "Sounds to me like you this this girl better than Alexa."
"I can't just ditch Alexa and go after Randy's ex-girlfriend. That would make things awkward for everyone. I guess I'm just bummed because she's so cool. I mean, I just can't see why he would break up with her."
"Yeah. You can't see it. That's just it. I'm sure your friend had a perfectly good reason for breaking up with WonderGirl. Maybe she snores. Maybe she bites her toenails. Maybe she nagged him so much that he felt he had to break up with her. She may be really affectionate and a good cook, but there's more to a relationship than that, you know. It's not all dear and vittles."
This episode featured:
Carmelo Chen as Uncle Sal
Napoleon Rosales as Giacomo
Jellybean Merengue as the hog-shaped menu.
Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "There's a time and place for everything. It's called college."
[29 April 2008]