Uncle Sal and the Nimrod Building (Episode 4)

Helen hadn’t been in town in a dozen years. She looked through the restaurant window at the construction site across the street and said, “Didn’t that used to be...something?”

Uncle Sal set down the salt shaker and said “That used to be the Nimrod Building. Y’know I was in that building right before it went down.”

“You mean it was demolished?”

“In a way, yeah. I was on the bomb squad and we got a call from the perp himself that he had placed an explosive device somewhere in the building and we had thirty minutes to find it. Well, my cap’n dispatched most of the force to the building. Some were on evacuation detail and some of us were huntin’ for that bomb. Two of us on each of the seven floors were lookin for it. Me and my partner was assigned to the basement. Well, we looked and looked, but it was a big building and we couldn’t find it.”

He sipped his black coffee and said, “Well, about five minutes before that bomb was set to blow up, I seen something looked like a rodent in the far corner. Only when I went closer, I noticed the rodent had wires coming out of his ears. I called my cap’n and tol’ him we found it. Cap’n tol’ me we had two minutes and if we couldn’t get the thing disarmed, we’d have to evacuate ourselves. I thought two minutes would be plenty-a time. ‘Til I looked at that device anyway. Whoever made that thing knew what he was doing because I sure didn't. I couldn't figure out what he done with all the wiring. I mighta cut something that blew me through all six floors. Well, them two minutes went by like that and my cap’n told us to high-tail it outta there. He didn’t have to tell us twice, I can tell ya that. We ran like our uniforms was on fire.”

“You don’t mean”

“That’s right. That bomber made a gopher I couldn’t defuse.”

This episode featured:
Patty Meltz as Helen
Ramiro Funk as Uncle Sal
and
Jellybean Merengue as the salt shaker

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, “I love to go swimmin’ with bow-legged women.”

[28 August 2007]