Uncle Sal and Giacomo's Vexing Visitor (Episode 31)

Uncle Sal knocked on Giacomo's door and found the door thrown open. Looking at Giacomo's hair, Uncle Sal would have guessed his nephew had been in a wind tunnel.

"Uncle Sal! So good to see you. Come in for a moment. I'll just get my coat and then we can be on our way." Giacomo spoke like an auctioneer.

When he stepped inside, Uncle Sal removed his eggplant-colored bowler hat. The hat was barely at waist level when Giacomo darted back into the room with his jacket on. "OK, Steve, Lucretia. I'm going out with my uncle for a bit. Be back soon." He grabbed Uncle Sal's elbow and guided him to the door. Once outside, he took a deep breath and leaned back against the door.

"Giacomo, what's the matter with you? You didn't even introduce me to your guests."

"My guests, right. Well, that's Steve McCool and his girlfriend Lucretia. Don't call her Lucy. I learned that the hard way."

"But why are you in such a hurry to get out? Those are your visitors and this is your place."

"It was. Until she got here. See, Steve told me a while back he was going to visit from Connecticut. And that was great. He was one of my best friends in college. I haven't seen him in a while, so I was excited when he said he would visit. When he arrived, she was with him. And she is unbearable. The first day, she ate all of my chocolate-peanut butter ice cream. She has commandeered my TV so she can watch soap operas all day, and she doesn't even let Steve go out with me. When we say we might duck out for a drink, she puts on a big production about being left alone in the house. Like she can't watch soaps on her own. And that's all she does. That, and boss Steve around."

"That ain't right."

"You're telling me."

"How long are they staying?"

"They'll be here another four days. Uncle Sal, I'm not sure I can stand it. She's just so awful and...annoying. I wish I could just kick them out now, but I couldn't do that to Steve."

"Take a deep breath, Giacomo. There's no reason to blow a gasket."

"What do you mean? Haven't you heard anything I said?"

"Course I heard ya, but complaining ain't gonna help things. Besides, McCool and his honey are soon departed."

This episode featured:
Buford Rosales as Uncle Sal
Zellman Barff as Giacomo
and
Jellybean Merengue as the jacket

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "Machines ain't music."

[11 March 2008]