Uncle Sal removed his moss-colored bowler hat as he stepped into Alice's apartment. On her shelf of knickknacks, he saw a ceramic cherub with a bare bottom. He chuckled as he walked toward the sofa.
"What's so funny?" Alice asked as she headed toward the bar to prepare a Scotch for him.
"It's just your little bare-bottomed angel reminded me of something funny. When I was in college, I knew this weird guy name of Cornelius Hammer. You know in all them movies with elves and dwarves and whatnot? Well, you know the kinda coat they always wear in them things? Corny wore one of them as his winter coat. Like I said, he's a weird fella. We went to this restaurant one time had a really weird menu." She handed him his Scotch and he took a sip. "That hits the spot. Anyway, as I was saying, this place had the weirdest menu I ever saw. That was right up Corny's alley. He ordered, get this, stuffed peppers served in the lining of a cow's stomach."
Alice winced.
"Yeah, I know. You think it sounds bad. You should have seen it. We finished eatin' and Corny ordered a digestif. Well, they brought his schnapps or whatever it was in a little shot glass that looked just like someone's rear end. We had a good laugh about that, I can tell ya. But Corny, he just kept looking at that glass. Told me he needed to have it. Every time he took a sip, he'd tell me how great that would look in his place."
Alice looked disapprovingly, sensing where the story was going. Uncle Sal sipped his Scotch and looked at her. "So what happened?" she asked.
"Well, ol' Corny was a resourceful one. He saw sumpin' he wanted and he wouldn't let right or wrong stand in his way. He put that in his tripe and cloaked it."
This episode featured:
Hal Wall as Uncle Sal
Araceli Ouelette as Alice
and
Jellybean Merengue as the bare-bottomed cherub.
Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "I married a Bigfoot!"
[8 April 2008]
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