Uncle Sal opened the door and saw his nephew standing next to a voluptuous woman in a low-cut polka dot blouse and a short black skirt.
"Good to see you again," Giacomo said, shaking his uncle's hand. He stepped inside and heard the familiar strains of Jim Nabors coming from the stereo. "I want you to meet my girlfriend Gina."
Uncle Sal took Gina's hand and kissed it. "Pleasure to meet you, my dear. You two have a seat. I'm just getting dinner ready."
Gina and Giacomo sat down on the sofa as Uncle Sal returned to the kitchen. She asked what was the deal with the magenta robe and Giacomo told her it was a long story. She looked at the walls and saw Uncle Sal in photos with famous athletes and politicians. To her right was a picture of him in his police uniform. "Your uncle looks like he's done a lot in his life."
"You have no idea."
Poking his head into the living room, Uncle Sal called Gina and Giacomo to the table to eat. She looked at the turkey sandwich on her plate and raised an eyebrow. Uncle Sal waited for his guests to start eating, but Gina didn't make a move to pick up her sandwich.
"You don't like turkey?"
"No, it's not that."
"What then? The tomatoes? The lettuce? The Dijon mustard? Giacomo, did you find yourself a finicky woman? Say, that reminds me of a joke I heard at the bar. What's the difference between your woman and a cat? One is a finicky eater who doesn't care if you die, and the other uses a litterbox."
Uncle Sal slapped his thigh and laughed, oblivious to the glare he was receiving from both his visitors. She cleared her throat and said, "No, it's none of those things. It's just that Giacomo told me your specialty is mutton chops. I guess I was just looking for that."
"Ah, Giacomo is right. Mutton is my specialty. But frankly, harlot, I don't have a lamb."
This episode featured
Jim Schwartz as Uncle Sal
Bobo Cardy as Giacomo
Margarita Saltz as Gina
Jellybean Merengue as the turkey sandwich
Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "Here we are. That's Agua Caliente."
[11 September 2007]